I got to thinking about Oprah Winfrey today. I've heard it said that for a book to be a success these days, you have to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show. So I took a peek at her website. Then I realized that I'm not in the same world at all. Life in Vrahassi is a star ride away from the life of Oprah Winfrey. It frightened me a little. I'm comfy on my Cretan mountain, with the local shepherds, neighbours leading their goats along the grassy lanes, hawker vans passing through selling 'big women's knickers', even not being able to put toilet paper down the loo and having to use a bin instead seems perfectly normal. And, if I were ever to be asked onto the Oprah Winfrey Show, what would I wear, my entire wardrobe was bought on the market or else at the cheap and cheerful Chinese shop. High heals? God I'd cripple myself if I wore those in Vrahassi. Then there's all that glam of showbiz glitzerati! I haven't been to a hairdresser for two years.
Sales of my book are already rising, now I'm beginning to panic, how am I going to keep it away from Oprah, how is she going to take it when she wants me on her show and I have to turn her down. I need to be ready with a few phrases: "I'm so sorry but my donkey just died." "November... oh, sorry, got to pick the olives." "What do you know, the road outside my house just collapsed leaving a big gaping hole." She'll understand I'm sure.
Anyway, just in case you are reading this Oprah, when I tossed a coin in the Salvation Army coffee shop on Oxford street in 1992, and got on the Magic Bus for Athens, I was just as unprepared for my future life as I am now. So, what the hell, I'll go for it, it's got to be another adventure!
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